Funny how the innocent-thinking of kids can put a smile on our face ^___^
Source: e-Mailing List
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
December 4, 2007
November 28, 2007
Wedding Jokes
1. Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
3. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
4. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
5. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
6. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in most countries, son."
7. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
8. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
9. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
10. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
11.A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifiers: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
12 . After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
13. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
14. When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.
15 . A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" Asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
Source: Friendster Bulletin Board
2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
3. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
4. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
5. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
6. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in most countries, son."
7. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
8. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
9. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
10. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
11.A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifiers: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
12 . After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
13. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
14. When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.
15 . A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" Asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
Source: Friendster Bulletin Board
November 27, 2007
November 22, 2007
a Chinese and an American
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and saw Steven Spielberg. As he is a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him and asks for his autograph.
Instead of autograph, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour!! Get outta here!!!"
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the CHinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour. It was the Japanese"
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship. Not me!"
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same!"
Instead of autograph, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour!! Get outta here!!!"
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the CHinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour. It was the Japanese"
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship. Not me!"
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same!"
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